How to Talk Like a Christian

Our lesson this morning comes from the fourth chapter of the book of Ephesians, starting with the 25th verse of that chapter. Hear these words.

So then, putting away falsehood. Let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors. For we are members of one another. Be angry, but do not sin. And do not let the sun go down on your anger. And do not make room for the devil. Thieves must give up stealing. Rather, let them labor and work honestly with their own hands, so as to have something to share with the needy. Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear and do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with which you were marked with a seal for the day of redemption. Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you. Therefore be imitators of God as beloved children, and live in love as Christ loved us, and gave himself for us a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Friends, this is the Word of God for the people of God. Thanks be to God. Amen.

I was in elementary school in the 1960s. Yep, I was that generation. They taught us. Get under your desk. Duck and cover. Like that desk was going to stop. Anything. And it was different back then. We had a playground with monkey bars. And the only thing on the under the monkey bars was the red clay of North Alabama. And rocks. And if you fell off of the monkey bars, there was a pretty good chance you were going to break something. And part of being a triumphant student was to come to class the next day and show your cast from the wrist you broke, or the arm you broke falling off the monkey bars. And we had bullies. And if a bully called you out, you just went behind the hedges and you and the bullies worked it out. And all of grammar school, there was not a single punch thrown. Just a lot of wrestling and rolling around. And your secret weapon, if they called you a name, was the aphorism “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” And physically, they didn’t. And they couldn’t.

But as some of us big children have learned, names do stick, and words do hurt. They can create long lasting emotional impacts. They can take the wind of our out of our sails, or they can become the wind beneath our sails. As a Christian, we believe that words create worlds. The writer of Proverbs, Solomon, says, in the tongue or from the tongue comes both life and death. And the thing that comes from the tongue are words. Words create both life and death. James will tell us that the tongue is a fire, that that the tongue is like this rudder of a ship. They can run the ship aground or take the ship, ship in the deep water, but no one can control the tongue. Words. Create worlds. Even the words you speak create words. Maya Angelou puts it this way. Words are things you must be careful. Careful about calling people out of their names, using racial pejorative and sexual pejorative and all that ignorance. Don’t do it. Someday we’ll be able to measure the power of words. And I think they’re things they get on the walls. They get in your wallpaper. They get in your rugs. They get in your upholstery; they get on your clothes. And finally. They get into you.

You and I use words to think. That’s how we process our world. Something happens to us and we draw mental pictures. But our mental pictures come with these small little categories known as words and we draw our mental pictures out of how we were raised out of our family of origin, out of our friends. We’re impacted by everything from gas station attendants to telemarketers to every person, plant, animal, rock or institution with which we’ve had contact. Yet all comes together, and it informs this mindset that we operate out of. That words. Create worlds. The Roman centurion came up to Jesus one day. And said, my child needs to be healed. Jesus said, let’s go. And the Roman centurion said, wait, Lord, hold it. You don’t need to go there. Just speak the word. And he said to Jesus, I am a man in authority. When I say to a soldier, go, he goes. When I say to a soldier, do something, he does something. Jesus, all you have to do is speak the word and there will be healing. And Jesus looked at the man and said, it’s happened. It’s come to pass because of your faith, because of your belief in the power of the spoken word. God created it all. Read the book of Genesis. And God spoke to the light, and there was light, and God spoke to the firmament, and there was firmament. God spoke, and it was. And you and I, as those in the image of God, have that same power to create realities. For ourselves. And for others.

So I want you this morning to take back your power in situations. I want you to use your words to take back your power. It’s not I have two or I need two, or I should, because when you use those words, I have to, I need to. I ought to or I should. You’re giving power to someone else or something else. Use the words to I get to. I’m choosing to. I would love to. Yesterday afternoon, I decided that a relaxing part of my day should be trimming the hedges. The house in Gibsland has all these hedges and they are just immaculately shaped. And now none of them have flat tops. They have to be rounded hedges. In my yard, God was not meeting my level of expectation. So I got my hedge trimmer out. Man, the hedge trimmer went to work on the hedges. That trimmed up a storm. I was 85% done and the hedge trimmer went up. I was pushing the button and my battery powered hedge trimmer was doing absolutely nothing, and I rebuked it in the name of the Lord. Behold, it’s not trimming. And I did what you did when you’ve got an appliance that doesn’t work. I consulted YouTube, put it in a trimmer, pulled up a video. I thought the God’s words were the truth. He said. It’s a simple solution. I was holding my trimmer there and my my little room, and I had all my tools out and he started saying, and you take this all, and you take this off and you take this off, then you take the. And he kept saying, and you take this and this and this and this off. And he finally got to the point he had pulled the motor out of it and was taking the motor apart. And he said, if your trimmers jammed, it’s this little inside bushing. And I thought, ain’t no way. Self talk. I need to get this running. I should get this running. I must get this running to accomplish everything I need to do. And then I realized that trimmers are holding me hostage. So I changed my language. After church today I get to go to Lowe’s. After church today I choose to buy a new trimmer. After church today I will love my new trimmer and I get to finish trimming my hedges because I’ve worked already this morning, I might as well work this afternoon too. I don’t got to. I get to.

What kind of mindset are you operating under? What kind of words are you using when you talk to yourself? Get rid of the word try. You know what Yoda said do or don’t do. There is no try. You’re either in or you’re out. Make a decision to do it, or don’t do it and live with that decision. You need to go after it, Full send.

Try. Do you know what try is? Try implies failure. And I know that from years of counseling, people. I know that from my own self. What happens every January 1st? I’m going to try to lose some weight. Let go of try. And stop speaking in absolutes. Everyone is going to the party. You never take out the garbage. And I’m completely broke. You’re in a helpless situation then, aren’t you. Let’s try some new words. These three people are going to the party. You didn’t take out the garbage last night. And I didn’t budget well enough to do this. Take back some control. And the way you talk to yourself. Why is that important? Because of what Paul said. Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger. And do not make room for the devil. Be angry. Somebody needs to cross-stitch that one. The Apostle Paul said it, be angry. Go ahead. Go ahead and get nostril flaring mad. Go ahead and let your mouth disappear. Go ahead and get these two vertical wrinkles right up here ladies, because that’s where you get them. The 11 guys. If you see the elevens right here run. If she’s got her fingers like this flee.

It’s okay to be angry. Don’t you hate it when somebody you shouldn’t be angry. A Christian shouldn’t be angry I it Apostle Paul book of Ephesians right here. Be angry. But what do not sin? How do you do that? I am angry. I am angry because… Not you have made me angry. That’s being angry and not sinning. Do you have the honesty and the Christian integrity to be angry and not sin? And the tragedy is when Christians get angry, they tend to get angry at part time Christians. You know, some part time Christians, don’t you? The Christians, only when it’s convenient and you express your anger to that part time Christian and they respond back to you, not as a Christian but as a pagan, and it just escalates. Be angry, don’t sin, and don’t let the sun go down on your anger. That means put a time limit on your anger.
My friend Truman and I are both preaching this passage today. Lots of preachers are preaching from the book of Ephesians, and Truman and I were texting last night about it. What are you going to do with anger is what I’m going to do. What are you going to do with anger? This is what I’m going to do. And Truman said, the problem with Methodists is that they will be angry and not sin. They will not let the sun go down on their anger. But when they get up the next morning, there’s their anger and they just pick it up, move on with it. Your anger has a, expiration date on it. Shouldn’t last long. It’s okay to have it. It’s okay to express it, but not demeaning another human being. I am angry because. Now, there’s a reason for this.

And don’t make room for the devil. Where does the devil hang out? The devil hangs out in your words. Both the words you tell yourself and the words you speak to others. That’s where the devil is. And if you’re allowing anger to bubble up in your life. If you’re angry all the time, you’re telling me you’re also afraid all the time. Because anger is not a primary motion. It is the symptom of fear. When you are afraid, you become angry. And when you allow anger in your life, and when you allow anger into your heart, when you just go, you’re mad at the world, the devil has a foothold. And Paul says this let no evil talk come out of your mouth. But only what is useful for building up is there is a need so that your words may give grace to those who hear and do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God. And I’m about to show you something about the power of your words that is heavily theological. I’m about to chase a theological rabbit for you. Ready? Here we go.
Paul said, don’t let don’t give room for the devil, because the devil occupies your words. The devil occupies your thoughts. What did I say? Your thoughts were their words. So if you got the devil working on your words that you’re speaking to yourself. I’m working on the word you’re saying to others. You are letting evil talk come out of your mouth and your heart. You’re not building up. Your words are not giving grace to those who hear. And doing that you grieve the Holy Spirit of God. You cause God’s Spirit to be sad. Just like grieving the loss of a loved one. The Holy Spirit steps back from your life. There’s another one that Paul says in first Thessalonians. Don’t quench the spirit. Don’t quench the spirit, and don’t treat prophecies with contempt. He’s not talking about prediction. He’s talking about proclamation. He’s talking about those who proclaim Christ in the message they proclaim. If you treat a proclamation with contempt, you usually treat it with contempt by speaking words against it. And doing that, you quench the spirit. You put the Holy Spirit out. That’s what happens to a lot of churches. They quench the Spirit of God. They put the Holy Spirit out by their words they’re speaking that are not words that build up the body of Christ, but tear down the body of Christ, and tear down the proclamation of the gospel of Christ. The devil; one more place.
Jesus said, I tell you, every kind of sin and slander can be forgiven, but blasphemy against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven. Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come. That’s Jesus saying there is an unforgivable sin and it’s blasphemy. It’s speaking against the Holy Spirit. And that’s not just uttering a word or phrase. That is a whole lifetime of speaking against God. Do you see a pattern? Grieving the spirit. Quenching the spirit. Blaspheming, blasphemy against the Holy Spirit are all words. Words you say and words you speak. Because words create worlds. What kind of world are you creating by what you’re saying to yourself and what you’re saying to others? Paul would tell the church at Colossae this: But now you also should rid yourselves of all such things as these; of anger, rage, malice, slander, filthy language from your lips. Don’t lie to each other, since you’ve taken off your old self with his practices, and you’ve put on a new self which is being renewed in the knowledge, in the image of the creator. There’s no Gentile or Greek. There’s no circumcised or uncircumcised. There’s no barbarian, Scythian, slave or free. But Christ is all in all. Why’s he throw that in there? Those are words that people are shooting each other, demeaning each other by calling them of their generic… their heritage. Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly beloved, clothe yourself with compassion, with kindness, with humility, with gentleness, with patience. Let your speech always be gracious and seasoned with salt. Christ called us to be salt and light. And Paul is telling us, you were salt and light. Yes, by the way you live, but also by the way you speak. And Paul would say, finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, what is admirable, if anything is excellent, or if anything is praiseworthy think about these things. Why do you need to keep thinking about the good things? Because Jesus said, it’s not what goes into a person that defiles them. It’s what comes out. And your words are coming out of your heart. And Paul is saying, put purity and love in your heart, and I guess I should finish it the way Paul finished it. Put away, put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving as God in Christ is forgiven you. Therefore be imitators of God as beloved children, and live in love as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us. If we’re to create a Christian world, if we’re to have a Christian culture, if we want to talk like a Christian. It starts with words that edify, that lift up the name of Christ, that edify and lift up each other and edify and lift up ourselves.
Use your words. But use them carefully. Would you stand and pray with me?

Out of the chaos your words called forth. Creation. And out of the tomb. Your words called forth. Your son. And out of darkness your words called forth each of us brothers and sisters to discover and experience your grace. Your words call to us and demand of us that we imitate you and speaking life and love into our world. Help us as people of the word, to live by and to model and to repeat your words for the sake of Christ. Amen.